The First Christmas
by InkJackets
Summary: Adrien has a breakdown at school. Nino helps him back up.


_'The first Christmas without Mother.'_

The thought shot through Adrien like the pain of hitting one's shin on a sharp ledge.

Adrien stopped breathing. His pen rolled out of his suddenly limp hand and landed on the classroom floor with a quiet 'clack'.

Nino looked up from his own note taking to peer at Adrien strangely.

Adrien bit his lip and shook his head. To the surprise of both his teacher and peers, Adrien shot up from his desk and out the classroom.

He dashed into the nearest bathroom and into a cubicle, slamming the door shut behind him.

His chest heaved.

He was not going to cry.

Plagg flew out of his jacket and looked at him, concerned, "Adrien?"

Adrien squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth. _He was not going to cry, dammit!_

"Argh!" Adrien slammed his fists on the cubicle walls. _DAMMIT! He. Was. NOT. Going. To. Cry._

A tear squeezed out.

Plagg nestled himself against Adrien's neck.

Adrien tried to think positive. The first Christmas with Plagg.

It didn't work.

Adrien slammed his hand over his mouth. He couldn't help it, a sob escaped.

The tears started flowing. Slowly at first, like a tap steadily dripping, but it quickly escalated to a flowing stream running down his cheeks and over his hands.

Just as he decided to stop holding back, to let his grief consume him, someone entered the bathroom.

Adrien's eyes flew open. He sucked in his breath and held it, not daring to make a sound. Willing his tears to still.

Footsteps strolled softly across to his closed door.

Adrien's heart hammered in his chest.

"Adrien?" A concerned voice echoed throughout the room. It was Nino. "Bro?" There was a soft knock on the cubicle door, "Are you in there?"

Adrien didn't make a sound.

"Okay, I'm just going to wait here. You don't have to talk, and you only come out when you're ready, but we are leaving this bathroom together, that all right with you, bro?"

Adrien didn't trust himself to speak. He heard Nino lean on the next cubicle door over.

Ever so slowly Adrien let out his breath.

Still with one hand bracing himself on the cubicle wall and one over his mouth, Adrien tried to breathe slowly and steadily. It didn't work. His breath was shaky and his diaphragm kept jumping inside his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut again. He gritted his teeth. He held the sobs down. He'd kept it in for this long, he could keep it in for a while longer.

"You know," Nino started to speak, "a while back, Max got really upset because he didn't score as well as he'd hoped on a Maths test." Adrien willed himself to concentrate on Nino's words. Anything to distract his mind. "He burst into tears, right there in the middle of the classroom. Before that, when we were quite a bit younger, the Dupain-Cheng's bakery went through some trouble and they thought they'd have to close it. Marinette ran out the classroom a few times back then and returned with red eyes. And I mean, you know how strong willed Marinette can be, she's not one to cry that easily." Adrien unclenched his teeth. He started breathing again. "Oh, and just last year? Sabrina couldn't handle the exam pressure and broke down during a lesson. One of the few times I've actually seen Chloé feel sorry for someone." Adrien heard a small thump as Nino lay his head back against the door. "Anyway, what I'm saying is," Nino's voice grew soft, "it happens to all of us." Adrien didn't move from his brace position. "Everyone goes through shit in their lives." Nino was quiet for a moment. Adrien breathed a little deeper. "Hey, Adrien," Nino's voice was oddly monotonous, "I've been there before too." He fell silent again. Adrien peeled away the hand clasped to his mouth. He drew in a long, deep, steady breath. "But you have someone to fall back on." Nino continued. "You have me, Adrien. You have Marinette. You have Alya. You even have Chloé! There's no one else that can claim all that." Adrien hiccuped as he gave a little laugh. "And I know your father and I don't have the best record, but even I can tell he loves you." Nino paused, "Heck, Adrien," he laughed, "you have a whole _fan base_ that loves you!" Adrien gave an audible laugh. "So don't you dare, Adrien, _don't you dare,_ feel like you have no one to turn to." Adrien nodded despite Nino not being able to see.

He took a couple of deep breaths and let Nino's reassuring words seep into his skin.

He opened his eyes.

He stood up straight and sniffed as he wiped away his tears. Plagg flew back into his jacket. Adrien opened the cubicle door.

Nino was leaning casually on the next door, head back, one foot propped up and hands shoved in his pockets.

Nino turned his head and gave Adrien an empathetic smile as he stepped out.

"My...My Mother..." Adrien began, but the rest of the sentence scrunched up into a ball and lodged itself in his throat.

His lips shook and vision went blurry as he was threatened by a fresh wave of tears. His knees went weak. His head ached. He felt like he was about to collapse on the floor when, the next thing he knew, he was being held up with steady arms. Nino held Adrien firmly.

"I've got you, bro." Adrien returned the hug and buried his head in Nino's shoulder. "You don't need to tell me," Nino said, "you don't owe me an explanation, but, just know," Nino said softly, "that it will pass." Adrien gritted his teeth. "What happened to you, it's not all right. It's not okay. You probably won't feel better anytime soon," Nino paused as Adrien's chest heaved once more, "but it will pass. I'm here for you bro, and I'm not going anywhere."

That was all the reassurance Adrien needed. He released all his held back tears, every shred of emotion he'd suppressed over the last year came up and, like a tidal wave, smashed the psychological wall holding back his agony to pieces.

Adrien gripped Nino as waves of anguish, pain and sorrow surfaced. The waves dredged up every bit of misery clinging to the corners of his mind; the grief wracking his body.

They stayed that way for a while, Nino steadfast against Adrien's surge of raw emotion.

Eventually, Adrien's sobs slowed. He breathed a little deeper.

"I know it seems impossible," Nino spoke once more, "but it will pass."

Adrien nodded. He pulled away. Adrien wiped his eyes and mumbled something.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," Adrien repeated.

Nino angrily gripped Adrien's shoulders and forced him to meet his eyes.

"Don't you dare say sorry! Haven't you been listening to anything I've said?"

Adrien sniffed and glanced down. "I just don't want to be a-"

"No!" Exclaimed Nino, "Don't finish that sentence! You are not a burden, you are not a pain, you are my best friend!"

Adrien's eyes widened slightly as they met Nino's serious golden ones. "And best friends are there for each other, no matter what."

Adrien looked for the usual egoism that was in Chloé's eyes, but couldn't find it. He looked for the usual condescension that was in his father's eyes, but couldn't find it. He looked for the usual duty that was behind Nathalie's eyes, but couldn't find it.

Adrien looked for the usual benevolence that used to be in his mother's eyes.

Adrien found it.

"Thank you," Adrien whispered. His voice a little shaky.

Nino didn't say anything but gave a small smile that caressed Adrien's soul like a gentle sea breeze; soothing, warm, and healing.

All of a sudden, the school bell rang overhead causing both of them to jump. Classroom doors banged open down the corridor.

"Come on," said Nino, "let's get you cleaned up."

Adrien splashed some water on his face and took one more deep breath, which was finally completely steady. He couldn't do much about his red and puffy eyes, so he held his head high. They walked out the bathroom together but didn't get very far before bumping into Alya, Marinette and Chloé. The latter two not bickering for once.

All three had concern etched across their faces.

"Adrikins!" Chloé leapt onto him and kissed him on the cheek, "You left so suddenly! Don't make me worry like that again."

Adrien put his hands on her waist and gently pushed so there was some space between them. "Thanks, Chloé," he said softly, "I mean it."

Chloé smiled, and for once it contained no trace of smugness. "I do care about you, you know." Adrien smiled at her and nodded.

He looked up as Marinette stepped forward, his bag in hand, "You left your stuff in the classroom," she explained.

"Thank you, Marinette," he said. She blushed as their hands brushed while passing the bag over.

"Couldn't leave yours behind either," Alya smiled as she handed Nino his bag.

"Adrien," Marinette spoke again, "I actually have something for you. She pulled a chocolate croissant from her bag. "I always find something chocolatey helps when I'm upset." She looked at him with her big blue eyes. Adrien took it from her, speechless with thanks.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Girl, it's a good thing you're so positive," Alya exclaimed, "otherwise there's no way you'd be this skinny!" The moment was broken. They laughed.

Adrien chuckled.

The first Christmas with pastries baked by a friend.

The five of them started walking down the corridor together.

The first Christmas at school.

Adrien watched the others interact. He smiled to himself.

The first Christmas where Chloé was actually being civil.

The first Christmas with people he could turn to.

His teeth clamped together. The first Christmas without Mother.

Once more the though shot through him. The pain slightly dulled this time.

Adrien felt Plagg wiggle under his jacket. Adrien relaxed and his lips turned up in the barest of smiles. The first Christmas as Chat Noir.

He rubbed his tired eyes. All that emotional upheaval had left him exhausted.

His smile faded. The first Christmas in tears.

His gut clenched. The first Christmas in pain.

As if knowing what was going through Adrien's mind, Nino put his arm around him.

Adrien's smile returned. The first Christmas with Nino.

Adrien clenched his fist with determination.

Nino was right. It wasn't okay, he wouldn't feel better for a long time, if at all. But it would pass. He would cope. He would live on.

Adrien's lips turned up in an unwavering smile.

This was, after all, _the first Christmas with friends._


End file.
